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Serious Suicide, Self-Harm and Therapy
Submitted by Silence, 03-05-2016, 01:40 AM, Thread ID: 20874
Thread Closed
Seeing as someone wrote something to help those with depression in a general sense on another forums, I decided to go ahead and write something only narrowing down to Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Getting Therapy, as well as ways to either handle it yourself or how to bring it up with your family members. It's not a fun thing to go through, nor is it fun to post something about it only to have people either laugh at you or make matters worse. Do not reply to this thread saying that everyone who posts about their thoughts are attention seekers and to pay them no mind, nor reply if you are only going to post something hateful.
Please note I'm not condoning the posting of it on forums such as here, as there are places better suited for topics such as what the Topic Creator is going through. I posted this on another forum, but I decided to post it on here as well. The more people who see the better.
Table of Contents
Disclaimer and Introduction
This is to be used as reference for those who are experiencing an extreme case of depression and are feeling the need to end your own life, harm yourself, or a feeling of complete numbness where even if you were to be harmed you think along the lines where your own life does not matter. This is not to be used as an alternative for therapy, institutionalization, or anything else. If you are feeling an intense desire for your own death or are immediately feeling suicidal, please skip ahead to Emergency Contacts and Websites that you should contact immediately.
Reasons for Self-Harm
There are as many reasons for self-harm as there are human beings on the planet. Everyone has a story and everyone has something they don't want to share. When someone is self-harming, especially when cutting is the case, they usually aren't doing it for attention, nor are they doing it for pleasure. They are doing it because they are unable to think of something else to do, they have become addicted to it or they want to be able to feel something if they are numb. You should never tell someone that they are doing it for attention and they need to quit, they will either hide it more or it will cause them to end things entirely. Keep in mind though, that if a person is suicidal or have attempted suicide yet failed, they most likely will regret it and have found a will to live.
Common Reasons for Depression and Self-Harm
Types of Self-Harm
Most people know what cutting and overdose it, the internet is filled with people who do it. But there are many more types of self-harm than just those two. They can range in severity for its base, as well as the different variations you can do for each type of self-harm. The most common of the list being cutting and scratching, it is also one that will leave the most physical residue as you are leaving a scar.
Forms of Self-Harm
Self-Harm Care and Stigmas
There are many types of care, health issues and stigmas with self-harm and suicide attempts. When going through with an attempt, you need to know that should you fail, people will know and they will look at you like a black sheep. For cutting, the stigma will be your scars. For burning, it's your burn marks. There are also the stigmas that you place upon yourself, that others can't see.
Caring for your wounds
You need to be sure that you need to dress your wounds appropriately depending on the severity of what you've done. Be sure that you clean the area thoroughly so you don't get any infections, as well as making sure the area of harm has been appropriately sealed. Depending on what you do, there will be scarring more likely than not. You should avoid any external contact on your limb for a decent amount of time, so the wound won't reopen or cause you anymore harm than what has already happened. If you have burned, be sure to apply a gel or cream to reduce the pain and cool the area.
Myths and Facts about Self-Harm
Myth: People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.
Fact: "The painful truth is that people who self-harm generally harm themselves in secret. They arent trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help."
Myth: People who self-injure are crazy and/or dangerous.
Fact: "It is true that many people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, or a previous traumajust like millions of others in the general population, but that doesnt make them crazy or dangerous. Self-injury is how they cope. Sticking a label like ?crazy or ?dangerous on a person isnt accurate or helpful."
Myth: People who self-injure want to die.
Fact: "People who self-injure usually do not want to die. When they self-harm, they are not trying to kill themselvesthey are trying to cope with their problems and pain. In fact, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves go on living. However, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why its so important to seek help."
Myth: If the wounds arent bad, its not that serious.
Fact: "The severity of a persons wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Dont assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, theres nothing to worry about."
Getting the Appropriate Medical Help
Whether the appropriate medical help means institutionalization or simply a prescription you must take. They are important. While the prescription you make will not 'fix' you, it will present you with an opportunity to help fix yourself. Sometimes you need to refer yourself into a mental hospital, it will allow you to get your prescriptions handled appropriately, find others who are going through things that you're going through, as well as present you with an opportunity to find various other coping mechanisms. If you have cut and feel it is too deep, please dial 911 or the number synonymous in nature to it, grab a towel and place it over the cut, and apply pressure to the area. You need to find a way to stop the bleeding quickly. If you're unsure what to do, alert a parent, guardian or someone close to you as to what has happened and have them make the decision if necessary.
Coping Mechanisms
Everyone has a different coping mechanisms and everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. For some, a tactile form of coping is better than an auditory. For every person there is something that will work for you.
Forms of Coping
Depending on what's going on, a different coping mechanism may work differently for you. Experiment with various ones, let your creativity flow.
Handling Those You Know are Dealing with Depression
If someone you know is going through depression and is experiencing suicidal thoughts, self-harm or any other kind of conflict, be aware of the appropriate ways to handle them. The 'appropriate' measures to help someone with it varies immensely from person to person, you have to be the person who figures out what to do and what methods you should think about. It can be hard to know that someone close to you is in a very bad state and doing things like harming themselves, but if you do care about them you will be understanding and want to help them. Understand that you cannot help someone, if they aren't wanting to help themselves. Make sure that what you are doing is wanted, whether they need it or not you can't force them to do something they don't want to do, nor should you threaten or blackmail them into 'getting better.'
Common things you should keep in mind when dealing with someone with depression
Emergency Contacts, Venting Websites and Therapy
This is the most important information that you should know if you are feeling suicidal or the feeling to harm yourself.
Emergency Contacts
The amount of emergency contacts per country is quite amazing. It just goes to show how many people actually care. You yourself should make a list of several people that will drop what they are doing to help you at any given moment, no matter what is going on, as many times someone who is closer to you can help you greatly if you are willing to confide in them. It is a matter of willingness to be open, otherwise you can see lists of various hotlines below.
Venting/Therapy Websites
If you aren't in immediate danger, you have the opportunity to go to a few websites which allow you to vent to people who are willing to listen to you. All of the websites have people who genuinely care about you and your needs.
Do you Need Therapy
Many people feel that therapy is just a waste of money, or that it won't do much for you. That isn't necessarily true as you can find someone who genuinely cares for your well-being and will allow you to confide in them to the fullest extent, without worrying about them telling people or the feeling that you are wrong. If you are interested in therapy, or just interested in taking a step forward with getting rid of the addiction of self-harm, or want a professional to talk to that will care, then you have a greater chance to get rid of the problem quickly. Therapy is something that will help quite a few people, though depending on who your therapist is and what insurance you use (if that applies to you) then it can become semi-pricey. Ask yourself the following questions:
Please note I'm not condoning the posting of it on forums such as here, as there are places better suited for topics such as what the Topic Creator is going through. I posted this on another forum, but I decided to post it on here as well. The more people who see the better.
Table of Contents
- Disclaimer and Introduction
- Reasons for Self-Harm
- Types of Self-Harm
- Self-Harm Care and Stigmas
- Myths and Facts About Self-Harm
- Getting the Appropriate Medical Help
- Coping Mechanisms
- Handling Those You Know are Dealing with Depression
- Emergency Contacts, Venting Websites and Therapy
Disclaimer and Introduction
This is to be used as reference for those who are experiencing an extreme case of depression and are feeling the need to end your own life, harm yourself, or a feeling of complete numbness where even if you were to be harmed you think along the lines where your own life does not matter. This is not to be used as an alternative for therapy, institutionalization, or anything else. If you are feeling an intense desire for your own death or are immediately feeling suicidal, please skip ahead to Emergency Contacts and Websites that you should contact immediately.
Reasons for Self-Harm
There are as many reasons for self-harm as there are human beings on the planet. Everyone has a story and everyone has something they don't want to share. When someone is self-harming, especially when cutting is the case, they usually aren't doing it for attention, nor are they doing it for pleasure. They are doing it because they are unable to think of something else to do, they have become addicted to it or they want to be able to feel something if they are numb. You should never tell someone that they are doing it for attention and they need to quit, they will either hide it more or it will cause them to end things entirely. Keep in mind though, that if a person is suicidal or have attempted suicide yet failed, they most likely will regret it and have found a will to live.
Common Reasons for Depression and Self-Harm
- Sexual Assault, Molestation/Rape
- Physical or Mental Abuse
- Bullying/Harassment
- Wanting to be able to 'feel' something
- The loss of a loved one
Types of Self-Harm
Most people know what cutting and overdose it, the internet is filled with people who do it. But there are many more types of self-harm than just those two. They can range in severity for its base, as well as the different variations you can do for each type of self-harm. The most common of the list being cutting and scratching, it is also one that will leave the most physical residue as you are leaving a scar.
Forms of Self-Harm
- Cutting
- Scratching
- Burning
- Carving words or symbols onto the skin
- Hitting or punching
- Piercing of skin with a sharp object
- Pulling of hair
- Not allowing a wound to heal by persistently picking at it
- Suffocation/Hanging
- Drugs or other Toxic Materials being Ingested
Self-Harm Care and Stigmas
There are many types of care, health issues and stigmas with self-harm and suicide attempts. When going through with an attempt, you need to know that should you fail, people will know and they will look at you like a black sheep. For cutting, the stigma will be your scars. For burning, it's your burn marks. There are also the stigmas that you place upon yourself, that others can't see.
Caring for your wounds
You need to be sure that you need to dress your wounds appropriately depending on the severity of what you've done. Be sure that you clean the area thoroughly so you don't get any infections, as well as making sure the area of harm has been appropriately sealed. Depending on what you do, there will be scarring more likely than not. You should avoid any external contact on your limb for a decent amount of time, so the wound won't reopen or cause you anymore harm than what has already happened. If you have burned, be sure to apply a gel or cream to reduce the pain and cool the area.
Myths and Facts about Self-Harm
Myth: People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.
Fact: "The painful truth is that people who self-harm generally harm themselves in secret. They arent trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help."
Myth: People who self-injure are crazy and/or dangerous.
Fact: "It is true that many people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, or a previous traumajust like millions of others in the general population, but that doesnt make them crazy or dangerous. Self-injury is how they cope. Sticking a label like ?crazy or ?dangerous on a person isnt accurate or helpful."
Myth: People who self-injure want to die.
Fact: "People who self-injure usually do not want to die. When they self-harm, they are not trying to kill themselvesthey are trying to cope with their problems and pain. In fact, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves go on living. However, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why its so important to seek help."
Myth: If the wounds arent bad, its not that serious.
Fact: "The severity of a persons wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Dont assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, theres nothing to worry about."
Getting the Appropriate Medical Help
Whether the appropriate medical help means institutionalization or simply a prescription you must take. They are important. While the prescription you make will not 'fix' you, it will present you with an opportunity to help fix yourself. Sometimes you need to refer yourself into a mental hospital, it will allow you to get your prescriptions handled appropriately, find others who are going through things that you're going through, as well as present you with an opportunity to find various other coping mechanisms. If you have cut and feel it is too deep, please dial 911 or the number synonymous in nature to it, grab a towel and place it over the cut, and apply pressure to the area. You need to find a way to stop the bleeding quickly. If you're unsure what to do, alert a parent, guardian or someone close to you as to what has happened and have them make the decision if necessary.
Coping Mechanisms
Everyone has a different coping mechanisms and everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. For some, a tactile form of coping is better than an auditory. For every person there is something that will work for you.
Forms of Coping
Depending on what's going on, a different coping mechanism may work differently for you. Experiment with various ones, let your creativity flow.
- If you cut to express pain and intense emotions.
- Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
- Express your feelings in a journal
- Compose a poem or song to say what you feel
- Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up
- Listen to music that expresses what youre feeling
- Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
- If you cut to calm and soothe yourself.
- Take a bath or hot shower
- Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat
- Wrap yourself in a warm blanket
- Massage your neck, hands, and feet
- Listen to calming music
- Take a bath or hot shower
- If you cut because you feel disconnected and numb.
- Call a friend (you dont have to talk about self-harm)
- Take a cold shower
- Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
- Chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel
- Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board
- Call a friend (you dont have to talk about self-harm)
- If you cut to release tension or vent anger.
- Exercise vigorouslyrun, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag
- Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow
- Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay
- Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine)
- Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)
- Exercise vigorouslyrun, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag
Handling Those You Know are Dealing with Depression
If someone you know is going through depression and is experiencing suicidal thoughts, self-harm or any other kind of conflict, be aware of the appropriate ways to handle them. The 'appropriate' measures to help someone with it varies immensely from person to person, you have to be the person who figures out what to do and what methods you should think about. It can be hard to know that someone close to you is in a very bad state and doing things like harming themselves, but if you do care about them you will be understanding and want to help them. Understand that you cannot help someone, if they aren't wanting to help themselves. Make sure that what you are doing is wanted, whether they need it or not you can't force them to do something they don't want to do, nor should you threaten or blackmail them into 'getting better.'
Common things you should keep in mind when dealing with someone with depression
- Don't tell them to stop being depressed, it doesn't do anything but make them feel worse.
- Do not pussyfoot around the subject, nor should you be too upfront about it. You have to find the balance between the two yourself.
- Don't tell them that what they are doing is stupid/wrong/attention-seeking/etc. All you are doing is worsening their condition.
- If it is severe enough, you should go on the offensive. Confiscate anything they may be using to self-harm, but don't notify anyone of it yet.
- Keep an open mind and an open heart. They don't need someone who is stuck in their ways and is only going to direct them towards a route that won't end well.
- Let them know that things will get better and that they aren't alone. Though they may not believe it at first, eventually they will realize it.
- Be understanding of them. Don't act sickened or shocked if you see their scars. Take them somewhere private and ease them into talking about it.
- Don't rush things, take it at a slow pace and understand that it won't happen overnight. It may take months or years for them to get better.
Emergency Contacts, Venting Websites and Therapy
This is the most important information that you should know if you are feeling suicidal or the feeling to harm yourself.
Emergency Contacts
The amount of emergency contacts per country is quite amazing. It just goes to show how many people actually care. You yourself should make a list of several people that will drop what they are doing to help you at any given moment, no matter what is going on, as many times someone who is closer to you can help you greatly if you are willing to confide in them. It is a matter of willingness to be open, otherwise you can see lists of various hotlines below.
- United States - Suicide Hotlines by State
- Outside of US - Suicide Hotlines by Country
- Worldwide - Various Hotlines for Various Problems by Country
Venting/Therapy Websites
If you aren't in immediate danger, you have the opportunity to go to a few websites which allow you to vent to people who are willing to listen to you. All of the websites have people who genuinely care about you and your needs.
Do you Need Therapy
Many people feel that therapy is just a waste of money, or that it won't do much for you. That isn't necessarily true as you can find someone who genuinely cares for your well-being and will allow you to confide in them to the fullest extent, without worrying about them telling people or the feeling that you are wrong. If you are interested in therapy, or just interested in taking a step forward with getting rid of the addiction of self-harm, or want a professional to talk to that will care, then you have a greater chance to get rid of the problem quickly. Therapy is something that will help quite a few people, though depending on who your therapist is and what insurance you use (if that applies to you) then it can become semi-pricey. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I currently in danger of immediate harm, or am I constantly thinking that death is the best alternative to my daily life?
- Have I harmed myself at all in the last week, or have I thought about doing so?
- Have I lost interest in my normal activities, become more withdrawn, or have I had people ask me more frequently if I'm alright?
- Do I have trouble sleeping at night, or am I too drowsy during the day?
- Are panic attacks becoming more and more frequent in my life?
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