Chronic depression

Yeah, i've been diagnosed with this since i was about 4-5 years of age.

It's something i have to live with everyday and there's no permanent solution for it at all, there is minor ones like periodical medication & just generally making my lifestyle more positive.
But yet it's always inside me itching & aching to get out and bring back those voices in my head telling me to just stay in bed & not do fuck all with my life.
I don't know why i'm sharing this, supposively talking to strangers about it would help a little i guess.

Right now i'm at my worst period of times & i don't really know what to do because medication or positive lifestyle isn't working for me right now even though i have great things going on in life right now like i'm moving in with my girlfriend, getting ready to settle & build a really good life, but yet i feel so lost.

I have the same exact thing. Mine is mild however. I was diagnosed with it 4 years ago, since my mom never told me it ran in the family and I didn't know it wasn't normal to feel the way I did. I too had the feeling of "fuck it whatever" to almost everything. Even going to Six Flags or a what seems to be fun vacation, didn't make me happy, AS MUCH AS I WANTED IT TO, because it sounded to fun yet I couldn't express or feel it. It got worse from middle school to highschool, and worse after graduation. I started taking pills and it was working, BUT I hated the side effects. Made me feel weird. My head felt more cleared out, but it felt forced. I would always yawn, and my jaw would shake. I've been taking it for a couple months but then I stopped. I worked for the next couple months on a way to combat this chronic depression without the use of medicine and I finally found a breakthrough for myself.

The way I fought it was setting a goal for the week. Maybe you'll be able to hang out with friends on the weekeend and it'll be fun. I focus on that the entire week. Just focus on the positives and move the negatives out of your head, it sounds easy on paper but it isn't. I take time for myself to meditate, and during those meditations I can clearly see what is pushing me back for that day, and clear my mind and fill it with positive vibes. For a normal person, you can probably get rid of negative thoughts in an instant or an hour or so. But for me it takes a day to finally comprehend why I'm being a little bitch. It's the lack of this natural hormone in your body that makes you happy, it's what prevents you from having clear thoughts. You have to somehow make yourself happy enough to produce enough to care, if you catch my drift. I like sitting in front of my porch and enjoying the fresh air. I like designing and making music.

If it gets really bad, Sometimes I write on paper what's in my head, bad and good. On paper, you can see what is in your mind and how you can sort it out. Only retaining the good. It helps with a better mood, for me that is.

My post is messy, I do more things than this but my main goal is trying to stay happy, have a clear mind, and being able to maintain that, looking forward to the next day, next week, month, year. I'm in college, and I'm looking forward to graduation, having an awesome job, buying my dream car, living the life. Longterm goals help too.

I have the same exact thing. Mine is mild however. I was diagnosed with it 4 years ago, since my mom never told me it ran in the family and I didn't know it wasn't normal to feel the way I did. I too had the feeling of "fuck it whatever" to almost everything. Even going to Six Flags or a what seems to be fun vacation, didn't make me happy, AS MUCH AS I WANTED IT TO, because it sounded to fun yet I couldn't express or feel it. It got worse from middle school to highschool, and worse after graduation. I started taking pills and it was working, BUT I hated the side effects. Made me feel weird. My head felt more cleared out, but it felt forced. I would always yawn, and my jaw would shake. I've been taking it for a couple months but then I stopped. I worked for the next couple months on a way to combat this chronic depression without the use of medicine and I finally found a breakthrough for myself.

The way I fought it was setting a goal for the week. Maybe you'll be able to hang out with friends on the weekeend and it'll be fun. I focus on that the entire week. Just focus on the positives and move the negatives out of your head, it sounds easy on paper but it isn't. I take time for myself to meditate, and during those meditations I can clearly see what is pushing me back for that day, and clear my mind and fill it with positive vibes. For a normal person, you can probably get rid of negative thoughts in an instant or an hour or so. But for me it takes a day to finally comprehend why I'm being a little bitch. It's the lack of this natural hormone in your body that makes you happy, it's what prevents you from having clear thoughts. You have to somehow make yourself happy enough to produce enough to care, if you catch my drift. I like sitting in front of my porch and enjoying the fresh air. I like designing and making music.

If it gets really bad, Sometimes I write on paper what's in my head, bad and good. On paper, you can see what is in your mind and how you can sort it out. Only retaining the good. It helps with a better mood, for me that is.

My post is messy, I do more things than this but my main goal is trying to stay happy, have a clear mind, and being able to maintain that, looking forward to the next day, next week, month, year. I'm in college, and I'm looking forward to graduation, having an awesome job, buying my dream car, living the life. Longterm goals help too.

19-09-2017, 05:24 PM

Bubble Wrote: I have the same exact thing. Mine is mild however. I was diagnosed with it 4 years ago, since my mom never told me it ran in the family and I didn't know it wasn't normal to feel the way I did. I too had the feeling of "fuck it whatever" to almost everything. Even going to Six Flags or a what seems to be fun vacation, didn't make me happy, AS MUCH AS I WANTED IT TO, because it sounded to fun yet I couldn't express or feel it. It got worse from middle school to highschool, and worse after graduation. I started taking pills and it was working, BUT I hated the side effects. Made me feel weird. My head felt more cleared out, but it felt forced. I would always yawn, and my jaw would shake. I've been taking it for a couple months but then I stopped. I worked for the next couple months on a way to combat this chronic depression without the use of medicine and I finally found a breakthrough for myself.

The way I fought it was setting a goal for the week. Maybe you'll be able to hang out with friends on the weekeend and it'll be fun. I focus on that the entire week. Just focus on the positives and move the negatives out of your head, it sounds easy on paper but it isn't. I take time for myself to meditate, and during those meditations I can clearly see what is pushing me back for that day, and clear my mind and fill it with positive vibes. For a normal person, you can probably get rid of negative thoughts in an instant or an hour or so. But for me it takes a day to finally comprehend why I'm being a little bitch. It's the lack of this natural hormone in your body that makes you happy, it's what prevents you from having clear thoughts. You have to somehow make yourself happy enough to produce enough to care, if you catch my drift. I like sitting in front of my porch and enjoying the fresh air. I like designing and making music.

If it gets really bad, Sometimes I write on paper what's in my head, bad and good. On paper, you can see what is in your mind and how you can sort it out. Only retaining the good. It helps with a better mood, for me that is.

My post is messy, I do more things than this but my main goal is trying to stay happy, have a clear mind, and being able to maintain that, looking forward to the next day, next week, month, year. I'm in college, and I'm looking forward to graduation, having an awesome job, buying my dream car, living the life. Longterm goals help too.

Yeah that's what i try to do all the time, it's really tough though.
The things you did usually works for me too but now i just feel like my energy source is completely drained out :/
can't even attempt to think of something positive, just makes me feel even worse.

19-09-2017, 10:13 PM

nour Wrote: Yeah that's what i try to do all the time, it's really tough though.
The things you did usually works for me too but now i just feel like my energy source is completely drained out :/
can't even attempt to think of something positive, just makes me feel even worse.

There has to be a source, and I know, it may seem like it's just there for no reason, but there has to be a reason(s) why you feel down.

All I can say is keep up with your medication, if you feel down even with your meds, you need to tell your doctor immediately.

19-09-2017, 10:13 PM

nour Wrote: Yeah that's what i try to do all the time, it's really tough though.
The things you did usually works for me too but now i just feel like my energy source is completely drained out :/
can't even attempt to think of something positive, just makes me feel even worse.

There has to be a source, and I know, it may seem like it's just there for no reason, but there has to be a reason(s) why you feel down.

All I can say is keep up with your medication, if you feel down even with your meds, you need to tell your doctor immediately.

If you're in a situation where you feel anything like I do, I'm not going to post it all here. It would be too much to read for a thread reply. I'll just say this: I'm going to PM you. If you feel I may help once you've gotten and read it, then maybe i can help.

Yo nour, buy a plane ticket and bring your ass to my Birmingham. I'm going to teach you how to kill your depression