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Submitted by fnsm, , Thread ID: 221792

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12-10-2021, 08:53 PM
#1
Yakko: Some folks say that life is cruel
Wakko: At the orphanage they fed us inedible gruel
Dot : We slept on beds with springs that hurt
Yakko: The faucets had hot and cold running dirt
Wakko: The windows were broken; the roof was leaky
Dot : The walls were cracked; the floors were creaky
Yakko: They shut down the orphanage and now we know
YW+D : (sigh) Those were the days, we miss it so
Dot : (spoken) And ever since then,
(sung, basso profundo) I've been feeling low... (cough)

Yakko : Another sub-zero morning
Dot : And still there's nothing to eat
Yakko : My feet couldn't get much colder
Dot : Our breath is our main source of heat
Yakko : We're so far below the poverty line
We're off the graph
Wakko : But don't fret, sibs
'Cause things'll get better in time
Then you're gonna laugh
Dot : Hah!

Rita : Poverty and hunger abound here
Runt : Yeah, it looks like a city dump
Dot : There's only one job to be found here
Yakko : The town needs a new speed bump
DrSns : Acme Falls was a paradise
Nurse : Happiest place on earth
Cast : But the tax collector's avarice
Took us for all we're worth

Plotz : My coffers are overflowing
BB+C : All of our shelves are bare
Plotz : My profit margin is growing
BB+C : We're broke; it seems so unfair
Cast : Life's so lousy; we can no longer cope
Wakko : Ya gotta cheer up, and never ever give up hope!

Yakko : All of the shops are closin'
Dot : Things couldn't get much worse
Skippy: Even my nuts are frozen
Slappy: Be careful with that last verse
DrSns : Hey, step up und try our elixir
It's good for what hurts
Nurse : Whatever ails you, it can fix 'er
DrSns : And it's great on desserts!

Brain : Drat, the temperature's falling
Pinky : I love when the weather is cool
Brain : A new ice age is calling
Pinky : Look; I can freeze my drool
Brain : I have hopes and dreams of ruling the earth
But here I sit
Watching Pinky make ice sculptures
Pinky : Out of spit! Narf!

Slappy: This old tree is finished
Skippy: Our acorn supply's gone too
Slappy: So for dinner we're having creamed spinach
Skippy: All I can say is spew!
Y+D : As a town, we're so down, so we mope
Wakko : Ya gotta cheer up, and never give up hope
Cast : We can't cope
Wakko : Ya gotta cheer up and never give up hope
Cast : Are you a dope?
Wakko : Nope!
Cast+W: Just cheer up and never ever give up hope hope hope hope hope! Yeah!

---

Train Bringing Wakko
Music by Julie Bernstein. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
Yakko : Oh, the train bring Wakko is a-rolling down the track
Dot : I'm sure that is the train my brother's on
Cast : Wakko went to see the world and now he's coming back
Dot : I've missed him every day that he's been gone
Minerva: He went to seek his fortune, and now he's returned
Rita : Bringing back the treasures of everything he's learned
Dot : Oh, the train with my brother is a-coming closer
Cast : Bearing Wakko
Down the track-o
Back home!
Choo-choo-choo-choo choo!

---

I've Got a Ha'pennypart 1
Music by Julie Bernstein. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
Wakko : I've got a ha'penny today
Yakko+Dot: He's got a ha'penny, hooray!
DrSns : How did you dooz it?
Wakko : All work and no play
Dot : He chopped wood
Yakko : He chopped suey
Wakko : I pitched horseshoes and hay
Yakko : He milks jokes and cows for his fee
Wakko : It was more than I thought it would be
Cast : An entire full year's salary
Wakko : And now I've got a ha'penny

Cast : He's got a ha'penny today
He's got a ha'penny, hooray
Yakko+Dot: All those days of hard work, and here's your reward
Wakko : Now there's nothing in this world that I can't afford
Dot : You can buy any toys you pick
Yakko : And eat candy until you're sick
Tristesse: Plus a gourmet meal for monsieur
Yakko+Dot: And still you'd never be poor

Cast : Because he's got a ha'penny today
He's got a ha'penny, hooray
Wakko : Our watertower shanty we can finally repair
I can even buy my brother some new underwear
It's like I won the lottery
Cast : Because he's got a ha'penny

Wakko : I'll buy burgers at the butcher's
And blintzes at the baker's
Groceries at the grocer's
Season tickets for the Lakers
DrSns : You can buy my new elixir
Nurse : You can buy it by the bucket
Dot : There's just one little problem
Yakko : It's lousy; you should chuck it
Wakko : It's so hard to believe it really happened to me
I'm going shopping with my ha'penny
Cast : He's going shopping with his ha'penny

Ralph : (dialogue) Dah, newses from the village to report, sir.
Plotz : What is it?
Ralph : Daaah, it seems that one of the townfolks is happy.
Plotz : What do you mean??
Ralph : Wakkos Warners has come into the possession...of a ha'penny.
Plotz : Ka-ching!

Cast : He's got a ha'penny today
He's got a ha'penny, hooray
With it he could buy himself a tropical cruise
Wakko : But first there's one important thing that I have to choose
My sister has been ailing quite a lot
Yakko : We don't exactly know what she has got
Cast : You plan to spend your ha'penny on what?
Wakko : An operation to save my sister, Dot
Cast : To cure whatever problem she's got
An operation to save his sister, Dot
Wakko : It's a present to her from me
All because I've got a ha'penny
Cast : Because he's got a ha'penny
In the village that's called Acme
He's going shopping
So let's get hopping
He's going shopping with his ha'penny!

---

So Much for Wakko's Ha'penny
Rita : So much for Wakko's ha'penny
Now Acme Falls is back in misery
Slappy: Should I, or do you wanna carve?
Skippy: Frankly, I'd just as soon starve
DrSns : I'm starting to feel ze stress
Cast : Acme Falls is ha'pennyless

---

Twinkle, Twinkle
Music traditional (Ah, vous Dirai-je, Mamanetc.)
Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
Wakko: Twinkle, twinkle, wishing star
How I wonder where you are
Out in space so bright and clear
Can you see me way down here?
(spoken) Hmm...I wonder...

Let me pick the star that's right
And pick the wishing star tonight
Like finding a needle in a haystack
Eenie, meenie, minie, Moe and Jack
Wishing star, please hear my plea
Grant one wish, one wish for me.

---

Never Give Up Hopepart 2
Pip : You gotta cheer up and never give up hope
Wakko: I won't mope
Pip : Just cheer up
P+W : And never ever give up hope hope hope hope hope! Yeah!

---

The Wishing Star
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
YW+D : We're leaving Acme Falls to find the wishing star
We're heading off to seek our dream come true
It's waiting right out there
The answer to our prayer
Wakko: A wish for free
Y+D : Hey, you might be
A multi-millionaire

YW+D : That's why we're off to seek our destiny together
Yakko: It's one for all
Wakko: And all for one
Dot : Times three
YW+D : Who cares about the stuff we lack
We're on our way and we won't be back
Wakko: Until we find that star
Dot : Gee, it looks kinda far
Yakko: Too bad we don't have a car
YW+D : Oh, what the hay; we're on our way
To find the wishing star.

YW+D : We're leaving Acme Falls to find the wishing star
And when we do, our troubles are gonna be through
It's just around the bend
It's where the mountains end
We're packin' our load
We're hittin' the road
Let's sing it together again, hey hey
We wanna be the first to touch the wishing star
We're northward bound; we're leaving town today
Yakko: We're taking a stand
Wakko: We're making a vow
Dot : This is the place
YW+D : The moment is now
For Yakko, Wakko and Dot
We're givin' it all we got
Dot : We're comin', so ready or not
YW+D : Today's the day; we're on our way
To find the wishing star!

Gotta Get to the Wishing Starpart 1
Sung toHungarian Rhapsody No. 2by Franz Liszt
Lyrics by Randy Rogel and Tom Ruegger
DrSns : Hey, what's up? What's all the noise?
Cmaker : The Warner girl and the Warner boys
Tristesse: They're gathered 'round in the village square
Cmaker : They say there's something way out there
Minerva : Something weird and something strange
DoverBoys: Beyond the farthest mountain range
DrSns : What are you saying?
Nurse : What do you mean?
Cast : It's something no one's ever seen
Rita : What's the story?
Runt : What's the fuss?
Yakko : We're about to leave, and that's because
Dot : We're on our way to the wishing star
DrSns : The wishing star?
Nurse : The wishing star?
Brain : What is that?
Pinky : Haven't you heard?
Brain : There's no such thing; it's too absurd
Slappy : What's the story?
Skippy : What's the dish?
Wakko : Touch the star and you get one wish
DrSns : You get one wish if you touch the star?
Slappy : Where's it at?
Skippy : Is it way out far?
Dot : It could well be, but we just don't know
Yakko : We'll soon find out 'cause we're going to go
YW+D : To the wishing star
Cast : To the wishing star
YW+D : It's something weird and it's so bizarre
It fell to earth from way up far
Cast : They're on their way to the wishing star

YW+D : The wishing star
Oh, yes we are
On our way, so we'll say bonsoir
Ciao, you guys, and au revoir
Now we're off to the wishing star
Cast : Yes, it's true; the Warners are
On their way to the wishing star
DrSns : Zey'll be rich as a king or czar
Cast : When they get their wish from the wishing star
Wakko : I looked up in the sky last night
And all the stars were shining bright
I wished I may and I wished I might
Just have the wish I wished last night
Cast : He looked up in the sky so bright
And he saw the stars up in the night
And he wished he may and he wished he might
Have the wish that he wished last night
Wakko : Then right there before my eyes
I saw a light up in the skies
The wishing star lit up the night
And then exploded really bright
It fell to earth and it came on down
In a great big piece that hit the ground
And then some fairy said to me
Whoever gets there first, you see
Just touch the star; that's all you do
And then you get your wish come true
Cast : Touch the star; that's all you do
And then you get your wish come true

DrSns : Wait now
Let me get zis schtraight now
You mean whoever gets there first
Can have a wish all to himself?
Rita : We have to go now
Because we know now
That if I'm the first to touch the star
That wish belongs to me
Sl+Sk : We got to run now
Before they're done now
So we can get a big head start
And beat the others to the punch
Ralph : I can't be slow now
DoverBoys: We've got to go now
Minerva : And I have got to get there first because
Cast : That wish belongs to me!
DrSns : Belongs to me!
Slappy : Belongs to me!
Nurse : Belongs to me!
Skippy : Belongs to me!
Rita : Belongs to me!
Runt : Me!
YW+D : Me!
Boo : Buckaw!
Plotz : It all belongs to me!
Let's roll!
Ralph : Duuhhh...hyah!

DrSns : We're on our vay to the wishing star
It could be here or it could be far
YW+D : But we're gonna get there first you see
The one who gets there first will be
In a super wagon wrapped and bowed
Then on the snow it's gonna blow
It has a sail; it's like a sleigh
Look out, world; we're on our way
DrSns : Pharfignewton, come on, scurry
Nurse : Time to go; we've got to hurry
Pinky : Farewell to my lifelong mate
Brain : Pinky needs a mousie date

Cast : On the road, can't stop us now
Through the town the oxen plow
Plotz : Clear the way, you stupid mime
Cast : He gets trampled all the time
YW+D : It's over hill and over dale
Sailing down the snowy trail
Slappy : Through the trees is plenty quick
Skippy : We can go by pogo stick
Brain : Pinky, are you pondering
Exactly what I'm pondering?
Pinky : I think so, Brain, but just how will
We get the weasel to hold still?
Brain : No; that wish is all we need
Our plan could finally succeed!
YW+D : Onward through the snow and drifts
Onward toward the mountain cliffs
Plotz : The one who finds that wishing star
Will soon be eating caviar
DrSns : Und that, my friend, is going to be
No one else except for me
Rita : 'Cause this is definitely going to be
Our golden opportunity
DoverBoys: We're going to get that wish, you see
Mva+Bu+Cm: The star belongs to me!
DoverBoys: No, no; the star belongs to me!
Mva+Bu+Cm: No, no; the star belongs to me!
DrSns+Nur: To me!
Sl+Sk : To me!
Rita+Runt: To me!
Cast : To me!

YW+D : I've gotta get to the wishing star!
DrSns+Nur: I've gotta get to the wishing star!
Rita+Runt: I hope it's near and not too far
Cast : Gotta be first to the wishing star

Pinky : Here we are
My love and all the rest
Have gone to find the wishing star
We've been left behind
Brain : You'll find that they won't get too far
For we will get there first
Pinky : (spoken) Oh well, that's different then, isn't it? Troz!

Cast : I've gotta get to the wishing star
We're doing really good so far
Plotz : Out of my way, whoever you are!
Cast : I'm gonna get to the wishing star!
DrSns : Wishing!
Nurse : Wishing!
Rita : Wishing!
Runt : Wishing!
Slappy : Wishing!
Skippy : Wishing!
Min+Bu+Cm: Wishing!
DoverBoys: Wishing!
Pinky : Wishing!
Brain : Wishing!
Plotz : Wishing!
Ralph : Wishing!
Dot : Wishing!
Wakko : Wishing!
Yakko : Wishing!
YW+D : The wishing...
Cast : The wishing...
Staaaaar!!
Dot : (spoken) Maybe we should have kept this our little secret.
Cast : (sung) The wishing star!

---

A Wind-Blown Wagon Sled
Sung toJingle Bells(Simplified form ofThe One-Horse Open Sleighby James Pierpont)
Y+W : Sailing through the slush
In a wind-blown wagon sled
Down the road we mush
Dot is still in bed
Dot : I'm getting really bored
I've read this magazine
If we don't get there soon
I think I'm gonna scream!
YW+D: Oh, wishing star, from afar
Dot is getting worse
Be a sport and grant our wish
Or we'll sing another verse

---

Aul' Acme
Sung toLoch Lomond
Slappy: We take the high road
And they take the low road
And we'll reach the wishing star before them
Skippy: But sad is me heart until we meet again
By the bonny bonny falls of aul' Acme.

---

The Wishing Starreprise
by Randy Rogel
Salazar: They're on their way to go and touch the wishing star
Those kids are gonna be rich, but what about me?
Plotz : (spoken) I don't know...
Salazar: (sung) You'd better bet I'll be getting there first
And if I don't your life will be cursed!
So wish that the wish will wind up belonging to me
Ralph : (spoken) I wish.
Salazar: (sung) I want it so much! I gotta go touch that wishing star
Plotz : (spoken) Okay, okay!
Salazar: (sung) They're getting ahead; they'll get it instead of me
Ralph : Dahhhh...
Salazar: You've gotta be quick; you've gotta be fast
You've gotta beat out the rest of the cast
To get to that star and capture that wish for me

Dot : We're on our way today
to find the wishing star Yakko: Got to get there first
We're on our way to have
a dream come true Wakko: Got to find it
It's there Y+W : Though we're needy
Somewhere We're not greedy
That wish, you see
Wakko : Belongs to we
Yakko : So out of our way, 'cause we gotta be
Dot : The first in line to try and go find
The wishing star Y+W : It's over the mountains
It's one for all and the hills
YW+D : And all for one, times three
SP+R : We're taking a stand
We're making a vow
This is the place
The moment is now
P+R : This is our golden opportunity
SP+R : The wishing star belongs to three!
Salazar: Me, myself, and I.

---

The Wishing Starpart 2
BP+S: We're taking a stand
We're making a vow
This is the place
The moment is now
This is our golden opportunity
The wishing star belongs to three!
Us, ourselves, and we.

If I Could Have My Wish Then I'd Be Happy
Music and lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Yakko : Did you ever wish that you could have
A wish that would come true?
I wonder what my wish would be
Which I would want to wish, you see
Which wish would be the wish for me
Gee whiz, I wish I knew

Dot : I'd wish that we were happy
And be glad for what we've got (cough)
Wakko : I'd wish an operation
For our little sister Dot
Yakko : And I'd wish we could make this journey
When the weather's hot
YW+D : If you could reach that wishing star
And it was yours to take
What is it you'd want the most
And what wish would you make?

Brain : (spoken) Ye-es, Pinky.
(sung) If I could rule the world then I'd be happy
Pinky : With Pharfignewton I'd be happy too
Plotz : If I could be the king
That would surely be the thing
That would make me really happy
Yes, it's true
Rita : If I could have a home then I'd be happy
Runt : And if you were happy I'd be happy too, definitely
Rita : It's just a little task
And it isn't much to ask
If we could have our wish
Runt : And a little doggie dish
Rita : Then we'd be happy

Ralph : (spoken) Er, ah, I know...if I were a policeman, I'd be happy.
Plotz : You ARE a policeman, Ralph.
Ralph : Oh...never mind.

Nurse : I would wish that every single person
Would appreciate me only for my mind.
Because I've got a mean IQ
Of one hundred ninety-two
They want me for my looks
But never for my books
So love me for my brain
Y+W : (spoken) Helloooo, brain!
Brain : I am not amused.
Nurse : (sung) Then I'll be happy!

Ralph : (spoken) If I could have my wish, I'd be a constable.
Plotz : Ralph, you ARE a constable!
Ralph : Oh, sorry.

DrSns : This stupid dumb elixir
I would wish that I could fix 'er
'Cause I've always been a failure und a flop
BP+S : We've been insulted and neglected
And we've never been respected
And we wish the wishing star would make it stop!

Ralph : (spoken) I know...if I could be the sheriff I'd be happy.
Plotz : Ralph, for crying out loud, you ARE the sheriff!
You're the constable; you're a policeman;
you're all of those things.
Ralph : Uh, gee, I don't think I'm gettin' the hang of this song.

Slappy : I've got bunions and arthritis
And lumbago and bursitis
I need glasses and my kidney's got a stone
I'd wish retirement, you see
In a giant acorn tree
With everybody leaving me alone

Skippy : I adore my auntie Slappy
But it'd really make me happy
If I had some friends with little kids like me
'Cause she's impatient and she's crabby
And she's always really gabby
If I had some friends my age
Mindy : (spoken) Squirrely-wirrelies!
Skippy : (sung) Then I'd be happy
Mindy : (spoken) Wheeeeeeeee!
Buttons: Arrrrrrooo!
Mindy : Silly puppy.
Buttons: (whimper)
Mindy : Okay, I love you! Bye-bye!

Cast : If we could have our wish then we'd be happy
Brain : I want the world
Rita : I want a home
BP+S : We want respect
Ralph : Hey, I've got it now, I do
If my wish was coming true
What I'd really like to do...
Plotz : Yes?
Ralph : ...is direct!

YW+D : If you wish on a wishing star
Yakko : You'll get your wish you see
And then for sure you're gonna be
YW+D : Happy
Cast : Happy
Happy
Happy
When I get my wish then I'll be happy!
Salazar: And when I get my wish they'll all be gone.

---

The Wishing Starpart 3
YW+D : Well, we're taking a stand
We're making a vow
This is the place
The moment is now
This is our golden opportunity
The wishing star belongs to three!
Salazar: Me, myself, and I.

Yakko : (spoken) Ehhh, this isn't the wish I had in mind.

---

Gotta Get to the Wishing Starpart 2
Cast : He's gonna get to the wishing star
Salazar: Stop him 'fore he gets too far!
Wakko : Help me, spirit, wherever you are
Cast : He's up there to the wishing star
Rita : Wishing!
Runt : Wishing!
Pinky : Wishing!
Brain : Wishing!
Slappy : Wishing!
Skippy : Wishing!
Plotz : Wishing!
Ralph : Wishing!
Bobby : Wishing!
Pesto : Wishing!
Squit : Wishing!
Minerva: Wishing!
Cast : Wishing!
The wishing...
The wishing...
Staaaar!!
Dot : (spoken) I'm feeling better now!
Cast : (sung) The wishing star!

---

I've Got a Ha'pennypart 2
Cast: He's got two ha'pennies today
He's got two ha'pennies, hooray
No more worries or cares, while it may sound clich
It's the answer to our prayers and no more taxes to pay
Now it's back to the town of Acme
To go shopping with his whole penny!


Never Give Up Hopereprise
Music by Julie Bernstein. Lyrics by Tom Ruegger.
Cast : The good old days were a bummer
Our town was a total dive
But now every day's like summer
It feels great to be alive
To state our message with greater clarity
We now spin the Wheel of Morality
(spoken) Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn
Tell us the lesson that we should learn
Yakko: And the moral of our story is...
Cast : (sung) When you're blue, buy a clue; try not to mope
Ya gotta cheer up, and never give up hope
Don't be a dope
You gotta cheer up and never give up hope
Try to cope
Just cheer up and never ever give up hope hope hope hope hope!

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