Quick thing to say - if you're feeling like you're not meant to be alive, just get a glass of water and listen to some music. Don't grab the knife or .357. You'll find your purpose some day. If you still feel like you want to die, call 1-800-273-8255. It's the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They're mainly in the U.S., but they'll take anyone. Feel free to DM me on twitter if you need to talk to someone <3