If you were a waiter and had a rude customer, what would you do?

I feel like this is a serious question so I'll answer seriously

First I would go over to the customer and would ask if he wants something to drink. If he says "no" then you go and say "okay bitch you just rolled my trap card" and smash your head against his. Then while he's on the floor you turn into a mongoose and yell CANT KEEP MY DICK IN MY PANTS and get outta there

If he says yes then you get him a water