If you were a waiter and had a rude customer, what would you do?

I would be a proper asshole waiter to them. But like this.
1. As soon as they ask for food, get their order and then take like 5 more orders before turning them in.
2. When the drinks arrive, deliver all over drinks and then almost spill them while running to their table.
3. When the food arrives loiter around other tables and talk to people with the food. Make sure i'm right infront of them so I get a front-row seat of the complaining.
4. Add something like "No pickles, extra mayo" to the order and say it's a mistake afterwards.
5. When they get their check and turn it in, be sure to walk past them a few times with their credit card.