Username for nulledbb?? Reason why you chose it

Because I'm a dead boy. Not physically, just emotionally/mentally.
Last 4 digits of my cell spell DEAD (3323) too, so that's nice.
Years of struggling with depression, substance abuse, other forms of abuse, witnessing my father's attempted suicide (and needing to protect my mom), it just piles up and my will to even exist kinda goes down the drain. I don't want to necessarily die, but ceasing existence wouldn't be so bad.