Serious I want to die.

Mate, I have Severe Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression and Cough Variant Asthma

I have attempted suicide 2 times in my life. Like you I took anti Depressants and had a therapist. Yet I felt so cold and lonely. During my school life, I saw no chance for me in the future. I was doing shit on every subject and had no motivation. I had friends but never thought anyone actually cared. May 16, 2015, I was ready to end it. Wrote a note to my parents and took a full pack of Xanax. My dad found me right away and took me to hospital. My parents were broken. We never had a good relationship but they were absolutely broken. Due to my actions my parents both got depression.Remember, youre here because a lady cared enough to bring you into this world. So embrace that, with both hands. People, I didn't even think that liked me from school came to visit me. They cared.Once you take your life, thats it. You have only one life. End it - and youre done. You will never, ever get a second chance.

2 years later. July 3rd. I was low again. Every day was a row of Panic attacks. I was sick of it. So I walked down to my closest supermarket parking lot. It was about 5 stories high. I was ready to jump. But I remembered my parents. All the memories, the laughs, the smiles the hugs. I remembered that it was take away night and that I loved take away. I remembered every little thing that brought me even the slightest bit of happiness. Chocolate, Music, Gaming, Pizza and my friends. I was so engrossed in my own problems I never looked outside the box. I know it's hard. I know how it feels to see no hope.

Life is meant to be lived.

Taking your life will not fix anything. It will only hurt those around you. There is always an option. Always. It must be terrible having memory problems as yourself. Don't let school pressure you. I was under the impression I had no hope of school too. For so long I just let it consume me and become my main worry. But one day I decided to talk to my teachers and really let them know my struggle. They carried me through. It was hard and shit but I did it. You can too.Killing yourself will NOT be a relief to the suffering. If you want relief from your suffering, you have to choose to live. You have to reach out and find the courage to make tomorrow better than today. Remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope and things will get better. Youre a strong person for living and you give me hope.

I left school 2 years early. I took another road. I studied coding and started selling my work online through small jobs. Now I have a stable job and income. I'm not saying you do that but really talk to those around you and possibly look for other pathways. I understand talking to people is hard and that nothing comes to mind when you are asked what is wrong. All I ask of you is to try. Just tell them whatever you can in any way you can. I'm sure the message will get through. Hell, Show them your current post. I'm 100% sure you will get your message out then.



If you want someone to talk to. I'm here. Message me.