Girl problem. How do I approach this?

15-04-2018, 10:40 PM

e8iw2f3 Wrote: So, super long story and I will try my best to make it as short and not as complicated as possible.

I've known this chick for years, but about a year ago is when we started hanging out more often. She'd come to my place and we'd smoke every night, wasn't anything special. I was dating one of her (old) best friends for about 2 years, so it wasn't anything really "serious" between me and this chick, let's call her Jess. I want to say about 2-3 months ago is when I started actually "caring" more about her, and I kinda want to have a thing going on with her.

Let me also include that one of my (old) best friends basically ruined plenty of chances I had, which is why I am not so confident anymore. My old best friend, let's call him Shane, would constantly be hitting on her in creepy and weird fucking ways. I talked to Jess about it, and she said that she definitely doesn't feel comfortable with it, but she feels bad to tell him anything about it. This obviously got on my nerves and I talked to him about it months after it happened, which seemed too late.

Basically, I like this girl. It SEEMS like she's giving me signs, but I can't tell if they are real signs or not. She mentioned national kissing day being last Friday (it was on Twitter, was just a joke afterall). Brought it up to her Friday night at 12:23 AM (Satuday) as we were at a party and she told me I was 20 minutes late (she said it in a jokingly way). So there was a missed chance there, but I've wondered if it actually was a missed chance, or if it was just a thing she wanted to bring up?

To me, if I put my arm around her, on her leg, or cuddle, it doesn't mean shit because my old best friend would do that to her. She didn't like it when HE did it, but she let it happen. She told me she doesn't care if I do all of that, but definitely sounds like a fucking friendly thing. For example, last night we went to the movies. Me, I joke around with her often, making it "seem like" I want her, so I put my hand on her leg, and extend my palm out. Usually when I do that, I'm telling her to hold my hand (she doesn't like public affection lol). She denied at first, but eventually did it. Just like every other time. Not really much to say, but it shows how the relationship is. I can do whatever, and basically have her follow through without it being uncomfortable lol. I've asked my friends who she is friends with as well to see if she thinks it's uncomfortable or weird (they are always straight up with me), and they said me and my roommate (he's a foreign exchange student from Vietnam who smokes fat weed lol) she's cool with all that shit. Obviously my roommate isn't really going for her at all, he sees her as a friend as he has his own Vietnamese girlfriend (lol), but yeah no point in saying that.

I'm not the one to be friendzoned (in person, I am pretty confident when it comes to talking to girls, so a friend zone is rarely an option for me), but this girl is super different. Nothing like my ex and to be honest, I think Jess is the reason I got over my ex super fast.

Basically, I want her to open up before I do. I want to hear what she has to say, or better yet, make her want me. Obviously not in a creepy way, but in a way I work for it. We hang out almost every day, so me and her are super close. I think I'm the closest one to her compared to any of her friends (which is a huge step since I didn't know her too well before).

So anyways, I basically wanna just make a move on her, but my balls aren't big enough. Me personally, I don't care for rejection. I'd do it just for the fun, but it's different when feelings are involved. I don't know if I have feelings for her, but I have something that's preventing me from doing shit I would do if it were any other chick.

Need some help!


UPDATE:

fast forward to last night, threw a fat cinco de mayo party at my crib and she showed up (was expected). we were all drinking having a good time and what not, bring her to my room and we started talking then just made out. wasn't super weird, but it was definitely different, so we went ahead and just went back to the party and got more fucked up. later on that night, had a bunch of my homies come through so we could smoke a few bowls. got hella crossed and she ended up staying the night. we ended up hooking up again, but as soon as i tried taking her underwear off, she stopped me. which is cool i mean we're friends kinda odd how we got this far.

the issue now is, the morning after, it wasn't awkward at all. was just like a normal day waking up. she was leaving for work and we kinda made out before she left again. we haven't texted at all today, but sent a few snaps here and there.

basically decided to share it with u guys since i choose not to tell my friends i got with this chick just so it stays between me and her just in case word spreads and she didn't want it to.

Super nice story, i personally don't like to hook up with friends. I think it gets weird... I am usually just decided, if i want to have sex with a girl i won't be her buddy and if i want to be her friend i won't try to have sex with her, at all. But i get it was something natural that happened unexpectedly. I am glad it endedup like that, getting laid on the first night might have some bad influence in the potential relationship you two can have.
You actually gave me the balls to start a thread about my issues. Thanks