Depression

Please seek help and take care of yourself. I just couldn't do it anymore and I tried to kill myself with my mother's drugs for hypertension and alcohol when I was 16, didn't work, when I woke up in the hospital and saw my mother I realized I couldn't do that. So I got into drugs to feel better for the moment. After 3 years of that, I now have epilepsy with several seizures every day and medication that impairs my thinking, I fucking hate my life and wish I had just tried to seek proper help.
Worst is I still do drugs because I feel I have nothing more to lose, if not my life, and it's not so important to me.
Please don't be me. I beg you, don't do anything stupid, you might not wake up but if you wake up you'll regret it your whole life and it will make things so much worse. Please take me back 3 years ago, when I was just depressed, not chronically ill...