I hate you. I hate you so much. I am so dissapointed you are my senior year English teacher. I have learned nothing beneficial from you.
This is AP English. We have written one essay the whole year. Plus two in class essays, which hardly fucking count. And one goddamn group essay. Fuck you, what sort of bullshit is a group essay? You give us worksheets you found off the internet. Nothing about your class is of an AP caliber. I try to be friendly and relatable. You teach English, I will be majoring in English (going into editing). No, you just snub me. You went on a cruise last summer to Alaska, I live there for four years. You outright fucking ignore me when I ask what glacier you say you visited. You're racist. You blame the big black guy for shit he didn't do. Or had any indication of doing. You read a poem about a con man, than asked us what race we thought he was. The poem had no racial tones. You say he was black for no reason. Seriously, what the fuck? You're unorganized as fuck. You say this yourself and think it excuses your behavior. Well guess what, THIS IS YOUR FUCKING JOB, WHICH YOU GET PAID TO DO! Every other teacher in the school can give a rubric before an assignment and a due date for things. Except you. Fuck you. You repeatedly have given false etymologies and presented them as fact. You said devil comes from d'evil. Blatant bullshit. It's fromdiabolos meaning slanderer. I mean, Etymology Online is easy to use. You talk about coining words. I mention that John Milton coined Pandemonium (pan demon ium - place of all demons). You say, no, that came from Pandora. Which it absolutely didn't. Also, stop fucking talking about spiders. You don't know shit about spiders. I was telling a friend about finding a brown widow by my house. You butt in and say no, no sweetie, it's a black widow or a brown recluse. When I try to tell show you the picture of the brown widow, you act indignant and disgusted. Don't try to lecture me on spiders if you don't know shit. Don't complain about a big black "poisonous" spider your dad killed. It's a purseweb spider, like I told you. They are aggressive by nature, but not venomous (nor poisonous). Only two spiders in the US are venomous enough to be a threat to humans: the black widow and the brown recluse. You ask (admittedly rhetorically) how you're supposed to tell good from bad spiders. I try to tell you how to identify a recluse (as most people know the widows appearance well). You get bitchy again. So, in conclusion, Fuck you. You may have been teacher for 16 years but all you've been doing is skimming by for 16. Also, stop talking about spiders like you know shit.
I feel you. My freshman English teacher was shit, she taught me nothing about how to write and I already had the best grasp of the English language out of the class because of the multiple languages I've taken (at this time I had just transferred schools and finished a thee-year Latin curriculum). I only managed to learn common high school writing formats out of sheer luck from taking a total risk whenever I turned in an essay. She was hypocritical with how she graded them. She told us to follow the rubric to the dot, which I always did unless it was a creative writing piece. One time I had written a great research paper that took me at least 48 hours worth of writing to complete and revise. She failed me on it. I check around with an unmarked copy with other teacher's and they said the grade they would give was at least 95+ according to the rubric.