The Lounge
What are some secret things that women will never tell men?
Submitted by piloto_stevee, 23-02-2019, 06:24 PM, Thread ID: 122411
Thread Closed
23-02-2019, 06:24 PM
#1 OK, fine. Ill betray my own gender.
Caveat #1: This answer (A2A) is based on my own long dating history prior to being married, and on the shared experiences of my close women friends. My friends and I are not ?all women. I do not presume to speak for all women.
Caveat #2: I believe you are asking for candor and not political correctness. I am answering accordingly. Some of these things are unreasonable or unfair.
PRE-RELATIONSHIP
If a woman has a viscerally bad reaction to you hitting on her, then either your approach was crass (maybe a backhanded compliment or too sexual) or she believes she is way out of your league to the point where you forced her to question her self-image or she feels you ought to have known better. Im not saying she is out of your league. Im saying thats what she probably thinks. Do what you will with this information.
If you hint to your woman friend that you are interested in her romantically and she dodges the subject, or she makes a joke, or she makes ANY excuses about why you wouldnt work, then you must believe that she is not interested. She is trying to help you save face.
If you call yourself her friend, then she will accept favors from you, even if she suspects you are hoping for more. In our mind this is fair because we are allowed to take you at your word that you are just being a good friend. A woman probably wont flat-out tell you ?This will never happen if she enjoys you as a friend.
If I consider you a platonic friend, and you want ?more, then your best strategy (which still may not work) is to stop being available. Dont be rude or make a formal announcementjust dont be at my beck and call. Dont listen to me cry about the jerk Im dating. In order to re-envision our relationship, I have to miss you and not take you for granted.
If you do any of the following too soon (before you have established a relationship), she may be repelled: Buy her an extravagant gift. Tell her youve never felt this way. Tell her you can see the two of you having kids. Adopt her hobbies. Kiss up to her family. Why? By trying so hard, you inadvertently are signaling that she can do better. She also sees her ability to make a choice being threatened, because you can throw the ?After all I did for you card.
IN A RELATIONSHIP
It is extremely sexy when you fix something or lift something heavy.
You look adorable in a baseball cap, and I dont mean adorable in a chaste way.
You look hot when youre covered in dirt.
When you insist on chivalrous acts like opening doors, carrying heavy things for me, or getting the car so I dont get rained on, I will probably say that you dont have to, but I really appreciate it.
I cant sustain the level of grooming and maintenance you witnessed in the beginning of the relationship. This is NOT because I gradually take you for granted; its because I would have to quit my job to keep that up.
Even so, it is likely you underestimate the time and money I spend on personal upkeep.
The only thing we want to hear about your exes is how lame they were compared to us.
When you go on and on about how beautiful another woman is, it hurts. I may not say anything because I know it will make me look insecure and you might say I cant handle honesty. Honesty doesnt mean that every thought in your head has to come out of your mouth.
If you fail to stand up to me, I will gradually feel less and less attracted to you.
I really dont mind if Im a little bit taller or richer than you. Unless you have a complex about it. Then its a dismal turn-off.
Same goes for insecurity about my ex(es).
Here is my #1:
When women decide they are no longer interested in a guy because we lost our attraction to him or decided we preferred someone else, sometimes we will pin the breakup on some benign thing you did wrong. Its a cowardly move, but women are afraid of looking bad if they admit they just stopped being attracted to a perfectly nice guy. So we will say its because of the time you didnt come to our grandmothers party or that you work too much.
We may even pick a fight just to create that situation.
I have had guy friends beat themselves up for years over their one, ?tragic mistake, and I cannot convince them that it was a deliberate misdirect. She was on her way out, babe.
Caveat #1: This answer (A2A) is based on my own long dating history prior to being married, and on the shared experiences of my close women friends. My friends and I are not ?all women. I do not presume to speak for all women.
Caveat #2: I believe you are asking for candor and not political correctness. I am answering accordingly. Some of these things are unreasonable or unfair.
PRE-RELATIONSHIP
If a woman has a viscerally bad reaction to you hitting on her, then either your approach was crass (maybe a backhanded compliment or too sexual) or she believes she is way out of your league to the point where you forced her to question her self-image or she feels you ought to have known better. Im not saying she is out of your league. Im saying thats what she probably thinks. Do what you will with this information.
If you hint to your woman friend that you are interested in her romantically and she dodges the subject, or she makes a joke, or she makes ANY excuses about why you wouldnt work, then you must believe that she is not interested. She is trying to help you save face.
If you call yourself her friend, then she will accept favors from you, even if she suspects you are hoping for more. In our mind this is fair because we are allowed to take you at your word that you are just being a good friend. A woman probably wont flat-out tell you ?This will never happen if she enjoys you as a friend.
If I consider you a platonic friend, and you want ?more, then your best strategy (which still may not work) is to stop being available. Dont be rude or make a formal announcementjust dont be at my beck and call. Dont listen to me cry about the jerk Im dating. In order to re-envision our relationship, I have to miss you and not take you for granted.
If you do any of the following too soon (before you have established a relationship), she may be repelled: Buy her an extravagant gift. Tell her youve never felt this way. Tell her you can see the two of you having kids. Adopt her hobbies. Kiss up to her family. Why? By trying so hard, you inadvertently are signaling that she can do better. She also sees her ability to make a choice being threatened, because you can throw the ?After all I did for you card.
IN A RELATIONSHIP
It is extremely sexy when you fix something or lift something heavy.
You look adorable in a baseball cap, and I dont mean adorable in a chaste way.
You look hot when youre covered in dirt.
When you insist on chivalrous acts like opening doors, carrying heavy things for me, or getting the car so I dont get rained on, I will probably say that you dont have to, but I really appreciate it.
I cant sustain the level of grooming and maintenance you witnessed in the beginning of the relationship. This is NOT because I gradually take you for granted; its because I would have to quit my job to keep that up.
Even so, it is likely you underestimate the time and money I spend on personal upkeep.
The only thing we want to hear about your exes is how lame they were compared to us.
When you go on and on about how beautiful another woman is, it hurts. I may not say anything because I know it will make me look insecure and you might say I cant handle honesty. Honesty doesnt mean that every thought in your head has to come out of your mouth.
If you fail to stand up to me, I will gradually feel less and less attracted to you.
I really dont mind if Im a little bit taller or richer than you. Unless you have a complex about it. Then its a dismal turn-off.
Same goes for insecurity about my ex(es).
Here is my #1:
When women decide they are no longer interested in a guy because we lost our attraction to him or decided we preferred someone else, sometimes we will pin the breakup on some benign thing you did wrong. Its a cowardly move, but women are afraid of looking bad if they admit they just stopped being attracted to a perfectly nice guy. So we will say its because of the time you didnt come to our grandmothers party or that you work too much.
We may even pick a fight just to create that situation.
I have had guy friends beat themselves up for years over their one, ?tragic mistake, and I cannot convince them that it was a deliberate misdirect. She was on her way out, babe.
Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)